On days when I hope I wasn't the unlucky girl anymore

Story begins with PSLE

Prelim - 264 in the end 248 (+3)

Despite being the only one in the whole sch to score a distinction in HMT

I'm still super upset

I remembered crying very hard that day

That cut off my way to rgs or so schools

Look at G she's now at Cambridge/Oxford

Look at S, she's at Aussie university as well.

....

Then here comes the days in nh

Okay Sec 2 I got promoted to special stream

which I declined cause I felt more comfortable in express

But thinking back if I was in special, perhaps I would work as hard to make it like a special stream student

Here comes the O's

Stomachache on normal chinese paper & combined humanities

Then in the end = b3 & c6

Which cut off my route to decent jcs

If I didn't got as bad I would have ended up in nyjc or what

& prolly end up in university already

But now I'm still afraid

What if I fall short of

What if I never end up where I hope I was supposed to be

I don't want to be the girl who's unlucky on impt days anymore

Neither I want to be the girl who's lucky on impt days ( because that's not consistent and totally untrue)

I just want to be safe and sound and be worthy of what I deserved

& I don't want to be like those fillers to fill up the last few positions there

GMH

Oh, just let it rain

She's the pretty girl I'm talking about

Brainy pretty and everything I want to be hahaha

Rainy days make me lazy

I have yet packed my table

I want to get a asymmetrical dress/maxi skirt

I just keep gorging.

It's 31st Jan tmr

What does it says?

Uni application starts 1 more day after

OH NO

Fashion & Singaporean men

I hate to say this

But singaporean men fail quite badly in fashion

Look at the queue growing at Ion's fred perry & Topman today

So brand-conscious and trying so hard to be in fashion

Look, I don't mean to offend but at the end of the day:

It'll still be polo tee shirt/checkered shirt + berms/rolled up jeans + vans sneakers/loafers

How BORING

Honestly, it's gonna be spring summer already

Do better pls.

.....

& Sour Sally @ Wisma is quite horrible in service

It's not like I didn't give another chance

Taste is not bad though I like the mochi

Look

First time I went, wisma suffered from electrical shortage

Was deciding real hard when I was about to order, the person said: so sorry our machine can't work

So why you didn't you indicate earlier?

Waste of my time.

....

Second time (which is today) the girl at cashier asked for my order

When I was saying what I wanted, she isn't listening at all

She looked apologetic and double confirmed my order

But look, if everyone is supposed to double order why not get a automated order machine then

How annoying

Failed service.

No more chance just like the bloody dessert place at sunset way

That refuses to let me look at the menu just because the restaurant is full on xmas eve

....

Therefore, I must succeed so that I can demand

so that I'm given priority

so that someone gives a damn about what I want

Alright good night bai

ultra big pineapples tarts that is (Y) - Le cafe

credits to insing

Death, love and everything else

Recently, I don't understand the ideas of both death and love

Maybe I should start with death

Does staying in the world for a longer time equate to being pure lucky (more careful in another way) or perhaps a guaranteed better time?

How abt the person died young but had a fabulous life?

We can never predict.

That makes you on a guessing game to how long you can live.

Which is what we fear.

& love, why did love changes a person?

Or I should say there're many sides of a person in the first place that we didn't realised.

Maybe we just dealed with one side of it which is why we have no idea.

What happened if the other side is bad?

Does this changes the form of love?

But shouldn't love be pure and untainted in the first place.

Ending off a quote from jaime teo:

"It struck me then that I would not be able to protect my girl from many things in this world, starting from playground bullies. I realized that I wouldn’t be able to protect her from the hurt of rejection or heartache as she grows. I realized too that I wouldn’t be to protect her from the pain of failures or disappointments.

The only solution that came to me upon reflection later, was that we can only help to buid her self esteem so that she is better equipped to handle life. After that, we can only pray for the best.
I made a mental note that day to cherish all the more, the times when she would only need Mommy and Daddy for affirmation and love because it wouldn’t be long before her world would get bigger. "

Note to self: Never trust wholeheartedly

I think my instinct speaks better

trusting resulted to me waiting .5h at ica building for passport

should have trusted myself to book appointment

with 62 in front of me

I think alot of Singaporeans are running overseas for CNY lol

....

Got my brows trimmed

Looks decent & pretty now.

Was deducing why I wasn't suitable for science courses

apparently I'm too vain (or hiao in hokkien)

I wanted to dress in pretty clothes w/o coat lab

facepalm anot

ahaaha bai

"Nines times out of ten, it's better to say nothing and keep your head down and hope that everything will proceed smoothly. And no one need ever know." - The Wedding Girl

Exactly, what I think everytime.

Feeling insecured recently.

....

Miss November by the girl & the robots is quite (Y)

The existence of them remind me painfully how beauty and brain works together

ouch.

I need to be better right?

....

NTU talk made me see so many old friends

well can't exactly use the term of friends as well

I'm disturbed by the thought of seeing them if I get into uni

It's like back to miserable nh days

I can't cope with that.

....

Infantile love follows the principle: "I love because I am loved."
Mature love follows the principle: "I am loved because I love."
Immature love says: "I love you because I need you."
Mature love says: "I need you because I love you."
- Erich Fromm

hello, greetings

I'm gonna hit the sack soon.

anw i was doing a little thinking session while i'm on the bus

hahah while avoiding to flare up with the old man sitting beside me who stink like mad

I'm serious, think rubber tyres + odd urine smell together

I swear I almost died.

& it diffused cause I think I smelt like him after reaching home

SIGH.

.....

anw I was thinking my taste in men changed

wells, I still like intelligent men

but if he's grows some moustache

I'm sold.

cause I was telling excitedly to swensyi how I find tender huang so cute

ok bye.

& enna i finally saw your comment.

Now got new horocscope not accurate anymore ):

House Rules

"So much time is spent with people superficially.
You remember all the fun you had but nothing specific. "

"I love you, and when you love someone, you do things for them without complaining about it."

"Nobody looks into the face of a newborn son and imagines all the things that will go wrong in his life.
Instead, you see nothing but possibility."

I like these bits plus the one with the cat person.
After reading this book, I wonder maybe I do have some of the symptoms of Autism too.
No kidding esp when I don't interact like little children when I'm young
My teacher always gave me B+ or C for the social skills part
Plus I do line my toys end to end.
Oh boy.
and I like routines too.

.....
Speaking of animals, I genuinely think that I'm quite a cat person despite me liking dogs.
Cat person like to be left alone, is independent.
My momma was describing me the other day as hornet
Hmm, gives me some ideas.

.....

I wanted to be there for everyone but not everyone will be there for you isn't it?

Black friday (wahlau even got cheated that it's not)

The bloody curse

Okay I'm super annoyed now

Partly because of me wanting to sleep

anw here goes the story of the unfortunate me wanting to go alter a dress

went far east - $12 have to wait 1 wk

( perhaps I should indicate that currently I'm setting like $10/wk for meals only in order to make it to jp/macau/cruise for hols)

heart pain ttm

The auntie better do a good job else I swear I'm gonna make a scene there

Guess what?

YL just texted me that the ppl are going to alter dress at some boonkeng auntie place

man seriously.

Im extremely mad at myself

...

finally apply for my passport after like 148908 shots of photos

thanks to my crew above.

Okay im still unhappy

super mad at myself

ji dan gao

world piss

im off to bed

may it be a day of non-word abuse day tmr

"有人說重要的只是過程
這些廢話 能夠安慰甚麼人" - Life?!

I'm into overalls after I saw anne hathaway in it

but she wore it with only bra.

Maybe I should wear like the A.wang style

....

Need to trim my brows.

May my hair grow faster.

Didnt went running

so fattybombom

work work work

may sales boost (cross fingers)

While attempting to shoot a class photo shot

20 years down the road if I really use this photo
what kinda of person do you think the people who saw my photo is gonna think?
HAHAH i wanted to pose with food
but in case people think I'm like a glutton, so I drop that idea.
....

Wanna read 13 reasons why
Like so exciting.
....

I want to be someone that having me is enough.

M&M's cookie :)

finally passed farzana her card. hehee

kinda overdue for vv long. so sorry!

....

Better finish my stuff soon

Tmr phototaking

must look pretty hahaha

My momma is awesome she says ready go instead of 123 when taking photo

Don't wanna look at the photos she snapped

All have me laughing like crazy

...

I hope I got nothing to do on wed since lesson is cancelled.

Gonna laze, roam, dream

You get the drift

My pancakes taste better with blueberries in it (Y)

If I ain't got you

This song keeps appearing

I think it's a sign or what (hahaah)

&

Esp when I heard it on cab during xmas that time

....

I felt it's getting pointless

Like it's a waiting game

See who does it first.

....

Post fyp syndrome

Nothing to use as excuse

Nothing to do after school

& library will become quiet

Feeling rather empty now

hahaha

I can feel the change already

I'm in love with Moncoeur

So gorgeous. Saw this when I'm watching some drama

Even the dating area got so many pretty buildings & things to do

Entrance NT100 that you can claim back by getting stuff inside

....

I'm totally excited about travelling again

Can't wait

Received crash course by brother saved time

HAHAHA

Hopefully I saved up enough money & anti -dizzy/puking pills

....

Just got my hands on House Rules

Hopefully can start on it soon.

Can't wait to make pancakes on wednesday (Y)

....

Feel like spending saturday at museum and ran some errands

But hopefully there's job

anw I just saw my friend going disney tokyo

Envious much